Fat Barbie is MIA

I am so sorry that I haven't written in a while ( although some of you maybe glad about that fact) but I am currently just all over the place because of grad school. I won't go into too much detail because I am still currently under stress to complete this course but once I am done I promise I will be back in action! 

Cheers to the Weekend

So at College Town USA, there is this new bar that has life size Jenga. It was amazing! However I will get to that part a little bit later. So two of my favorite people came into town this weekend and my friends and I all decided to go out on the town. Being girls we all got ready together and spied on my one friend's hot neighbors ( granted these boys are 18 and 19 and Fat Barbie doesn't play well with younger boys) We finish getting ready and we head out to dinner and the bars. After learning what a ride or die chick is and many other fun tidbits,we all started to lag at around 12:30am when one of my friends suggested we go to the new bar that had a bunch of arcade games and board games. We get there and in the corner there is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen LIFE SIZE JENGA!!!!!! What could be better than life size Jenga? If you said absolutely nothing( or Alex Pettyfer wearing nothing but a bow) you would be correct! Unfortunately for me tacky people were hogging the Jenga table. But really why would someone keep me from my beloved life size Jenga. Seeing my distress my friends bring me to the bar part. While getting my beverage the song bittersweet symphony come on. The bar tender made a funny comment about this song which I of of course added my own two cents too. Another bar patron chimes in with his opinion. So this segways into flirting ( I mean we are at a bar and life size Jenga is in use what else am I suppose to o) now I always flirt it is just what happens you can ask my sister I am just a flirt. So between talking to my friends and flirting with Bar Patron I begin to have a great time. Unfortunately the lights turn on and last call is called. My friends and I regroup to decide how to proceed for the rest of the night. Then Bar Patron walks up to me and runs my back. Umm excuse me?!?! I hate hate HATE being touched. I hate it. Even when it is a friend if I am not prepared for the touch I will FREAK out! So I flipped out naturally and he has the audacity to say "As a massage therapist, I am offended" excuse me?! Do you even know my name? I couldn't believe my ears so as politely as I could reject him I said "1. You don't even know my name 2. If that's your best pick up line it needs some serious work" so as I leave I thought to myself I may be desperate but I will never be that desperate. That is the recap of Fat Barbie's weekend! Have a great day y'all!

The Misadventures of Fat Barbie

So as you know I have been going to work with Personal Trainer. From my last post y'all know that the workout kicked my butt. I am glad to say that I am not on death's door anymore. I am not saying that the workouts have gotten easier. They haven't I am just adjusting better to the workouts. After working out upper body and lower body the past two times today Personal Trainer decided to put me through a full body work out. And for the most part it was wonderful! It feels great to work muscles that haven't been worked on in years. However as you can see from the title there was definitely a mishap or two(let’s be real my entire life is a mishap mostly for the good) Personal Trainer has already run me through the ringer. It was almost time for Fat Barbie to be back in my little cottage with the air conditioning turned on full blast. I swear I have never sweated so much as I have during these workouts. I can literally taste sweet freedom. When Personal Trainer says "Hold on Fat Barbie you've got one more thing to do" And can I say that with that my heart fell just a little bit. However I am doing this to better myself and I knew that I could do it. If I climbed the steps of the Duomo and didn't die (once again thanks for that SkinnyBitch, I think i just regained my breath) So I am wondering what little work out trick PT has drummed up for me. So with visions of kettle bells, rowing machines and bench presses floating though my brain I get ready for what I think is going to be so hard. Well imagine my surprise when PT brings me to a bench and says all I will be doing is a basic crunch extension on the bench. I couldn't help but be excited because these are so easy. So I have to do three sets of fifteen, which doesn't seem like a big deal. As I am getting through the first set I feel a little wobbly. No worries though Fat Barbie pushed through. So I moved to the second set this is where things get a little hairy. I am getting that wobbly feeling again. I should have known something was up because before I could even stop myself I fall tushy overhead right off that workout bench. Mortified doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.  I wouldn't have felt so bad if I hadn't known someone at the gym. But I girl I had some classes with had just signed into the gym and had seen Fat Barbie's ass in all its glory straight up in the air. I have no idea how I managed that feat of sheer awesome but somehow it happened. Now I want all of you readers out there to get a good laugh out of my pain. Just imagine Fat Barbie flipping right over off a workout bench. It is pretty funny looking back on it but my pride is still a little wounded especially because before I flipped over the bench I had been working on a machine that does squats and as I am squatting this weight my right knee gives out and over I go. I fell TWICE in one workout. That's when I knew the gods were against me and that I should basically give up. But never fear if I gave up on things that embarrassed me I probably wouldn't have survived college because man did I do some pretty embarrassing things. But those are stories for another day. Well I hope I made your day and if you need a laugh just imagine me falling right off a workout bench in front of God and everyone.