So it has been so long since I have blogged and I have no excuse except for that fact that grad school is so much harder than what I thought it would be. I have never been so tired in my life nor as busy. I barely have time to get Fat Barbie glamorous. It has been ridiculous....super duper ridiculous. So I am pretty sure no one actually reads this but I am going to try to write as often as I can. That being said I cannot promise anything...I bet no one is actually reading but I want to make myself feel better haha! So let's catch up! There is absolutely nothing going on in my love life...I am happily(well maybe not happily but I guess as ok as I'll ever be with it) single. Graduate school is kicking my butt to be sure and SkinnyBitch is still as skinny as ever. I mean come on SkinnyBitch quit making me look bad Jesus eat a piece of cake once in a while goodness. However kittens I do have a funny story for you! (Mom or someone who knows my mom, if you are reading this stop reading please I am begging you) So now that I've gotten that PSA out of the way I'll give you the deets...If you don't like awkward stories then you should probably stop reading here too because as with pretty much everything in my life this story is pretty awkward...So this guy and I have known each other since we were freshmen. I thought he was a colossal dilhole and he thought I was a raging bitch (both are true to some extent). So we run into each other casually over the years one of my friends like one of his friends, one of his friends tried to date one of my best friends ( somehow it never worked out) so we would politely( yeah right) deal with each other. Here is where things start getting awkward. He would awkwardly facebook chat me shit at like 3:30 in the morning but would engage in the ignoring the next time we were forced to share each other's company...Clearly this story is off to a FANTASTIC start...Now i know all of yall are like good God fat barbie pull yourself together. So one night this past august we get thrown together in the fact that my friends and I lost our ride home, hey it happens, and so my friend decides to call this guy lets call him Bumper. Bumper comes and hangs out at the bar with us and then is like yeah I'll take yall home. I'll skip all the boring/ tmi details and get to the funny part. Let me preface this statement by saying I now understand why Bumper is such a dick. He shoved 3/4 of it into his personality and left the 1/4 to just chill. So it was awkward and horrible and I think the best quote from the entire night was "Well this isn't going on either of our highlight reels" or "You can't tell ANYONE about this you know way too many of my frat brothers( I stopped hanging out with his frat after my sophomore year, they were lame) and I know way too many of your sorority sisters(congrats there is over 220 of us at any given time)and maybe we can do it again" or "You're not pretty enough to be seen in the light of day". Now I must mention all the awesome one-liners are from Bumper. My responses are not very lady like and thus won't be recorded for posterity. I should mention that this was definitely the most awkward experience I have ever had with a man/man-child/guyer as embarrassed and that I actually felt really stupid. (This girl by the way is one of my best friends and the one who called Bumper in the first place) She left for work and one of our other best friends came over to grab her stuff because she got ready at my house the night before. Now when she got there she could tell that something had happened because I just could not even look her in the eyes. After the entire story unfolded the first words out of her mouth were "Well one of the three of us were bound to sleep with him...might as well be you" and with that we promptly burst out into laughter. This is why we are friend because of quotes like this. Now Bumper and I have run into each exactly twice since and each time is more awkward than the last. We both attempt to ignore each other but once we had to have forced awkward conversation because I literally ran into him and at first was like oh I am so sorry I was not paying attention then I looked up and was like well no I am not sorry you're an ass. The worst part is because of this entire situation with Bumper I never can look at myself again nor can I ever imagine that a guy is actually interested in me because as Bumper said to my FACE "You're not pretty enough to be seen in the light of day" However my friends have slowly but surely been building my self-esteem back up and it is wonderful. Gotta love friends who are willing to build you up after a dilhole knocks you down.
