So today is every couple's favorite day and every single's worst nightmare. Yup! that's right it is St. Valentine's Day...Can i get a HEYYYY for the one and only adorable fat baby with wings and a bow and arrow CUPID! Unfortunately for me Cupid missed me this year. So I am sitting with my five boyfriends ( Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Loki...I am watching the Avengers sue me) writing to y'all. Now I don't actively dislike V-Day but I am not overly in love with it. There are couples for know when to love each other and when to calm down then there are the couples that must have physical contact with each other at all times and they are LOOOOVVVEEE and they don't care who knows it. So my single self really prefers the first kind of couple the low-key awesome couple. It is the second kind of couple who really make Fat Barbie want to strangle Cupid and then the couple with Cupid's bow string. This is all important for the story that is coming up. My little cousin also attends the same university as I do so I bought her a cookie to the Beta Beta Delta House ( did I mention she is a member of the same sorority I was) ANd as I am leaving I notice there are flowers in the dining room. So Fat Barbie being nosey as all get out goes and looks at the card. The bouquet is from a fraternity to the entire sorority. It is red roses with gold glitter sprayed on. Nice try gentlemen. It was sweet but kinda tacky all at the same time. So me having absolutely no filter what so ever proceed to say exactly what I thought out loud and that is when a girl pipes up "Fat Barbie don't hate on Valentine's day just because you're single" Um excuse me I get it you have a boyfriend and you do not belong in the couple category I like. You are the one who always must be in contact with your boyfriend and is all in your face about your relationship and its ups and downs. You have broke up and gotten back with the same guy about 10 times in the 3 years. Do you not remember last Valentine's day when he broke up with you over Christmas break to date/ bone a member of Lambda Lambda Lambda? I certainly remember you hollaring through the entire sorority house and all over facebook and twitter that love way a fallacy( I was actually impressed you knew this word) and how Valentine's day was a joke and how anyone who liked the holiday was delusional and had no idea what they were missing? Oh yeah caught in your own little hypocrisy. So when you have your boyfriend you are totally in love with Valentine's day but if you are single you hate it with a fervor. Listen I get it and I am sure if I ever had a Fat Ken to spend Valentine's day with I would be coocoo for coco puffs over Valentine's day but however I am not so I won't trash your favorite holiday but you keep your hypocrisy to yourself. Please and thank you... Well I am getting back to my boyfriends so kittens if you have a special someone go out have a great time and enjoy your Valentine's Day!!! If you are single get yourself a good movie (preferably with really hot men like the Avengers) a bottle of wine and get over the fact you are alone! Also stay off facebook, twitter and instagram if you are bitter (or give all that up for lent and you don't have to see any of it!) Bye guys!
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