So yesterday I had to go to the eye doctor ( opthamologist optometrist some kinda opto) Now fun fact Fat Barbie is severely nearsighted meaning I can't see anything that is further than 5 ft in front of my face( unless I have my contacts in or super nerd glasses on) Which leads me to the bulk( haha) of my story. So being super smart( sarcasm) I managed to lose my I am a nerd glasses. Well isn't that just super inconvenient...but really. So I hate my old eye doctor because he always had really cold hands and was kind creepy ( I am sorry cold hands all over my face NOT ok) so I went to a new doctor. Well it is a good thing I made this appointment when I had absolutely nothing to do because they were running late ( If there is one thing Fat Barbie can't stand it is being late...I hate being late and I hate when others are late....punctuality is sexy) So I begin to peruse all of the types of glass this eye doctor is trying to hock to me. Now I have a hard time picking out what I want so I had an amazing solution to this problem. The night before I went to website and picked out some glasses that I would be sure to look for in the store. Well problem was I looked God awful in each pair I had selected so that sent me into a tailspin( Fat Barbie goes into tailspins a lot) Because of these issues I was glad to have the extra time to look before I went in to see the doctor. Well I was still at an impasse when my name was called to finally go back. Of course I was put through all of the test by an assistant which was fine but the woman was not phrasing her questions well. SO I felt like a complete moron(not and uncommon occurrence in Fat Barbie's life) so finally we get to the eye pressure test. If you have never had an eye pressure test here is my warning for you: they SHOOT AIR at you...No warning no nothing all of a sudden it's like pouf air right in the eye and then they do it to the other eye. I had never done this test before and wasn't expecting this air to come shooting at my eye ( I have issues with things coming at my face...I no like) It was awful! And the assistant just laughed at me when I was startled. Well excuse me for not knowing all that air was going to come shooting at my face. I won't even lie that startled me so badly. After having my eyes assaulted by puffs of air, I was finally able to see the doctor. After doing the normal chit chat and being told no I wasn't blind ( I was shocked that there were people more blind than I was) I was told I was just a tiny bit nearsighted ( Is he kidding) with a slight astigmatism ( don't even ask me what that means because I can't even spell it) Armed with my new prescription I was on the hunt to find the world's most perfect glasses. The search seemed endless all of my backup plans had failed( If you have no clue what i am talking about then clearly you didn't read carefully) Now darling readers y'all maybe thinking "Fat Barbie why are you so obsessed with finding the perfect glasses. they are just glasses! They won't obstruct your beauty"( I put that last line in for myself!) It is important to me that i find glasses that won't make my already seriously round face look even rounder. So this meant I had to find rectangular shaped frames with arms that wouldn't leave an imprint on my delicate fat, I wanted tortoise shell frames or brown. I needed to look mature yet fun and adorable (just like me) When all seemed lost and hopeless I gaze across the store and there in the front display were THE glasses, they were rectangle, tortoise shell frames with wide arms! It was like the Goddess of Glasses came down and dropped them there in a gesture of reconciliation with Fat Barbie and it was wonderful. It was like these glasses making up for the fact I had air surreptitiously SHOT into my delicate eye ( the were only good thing about that was my eyes are perfectly healthy with the exception of the whole near sighted astigmatism thing! Holla my eyes are perfect just like me....haha) These were the holy grail of frames and I had to have them. Luckily for me my parents said I could have them and thus all of torture I faced was made totally worth while. Now i am anxiously awaiting the day I can wear them. It will be nice to have a back up plan to see when my eyes are too tired to wear my contacts...yes that actually happens. I feel like such a nerd because I am so excited for my new glasses. I won't have to put my contacts in when I have early morning classes hello super awesome glasses! best day ever!
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