I'm baaaaccckkkk

Hello lovelies,
I know it has been quite a while since I have last posted. Grad school kept me way way way busier than I thought it would. All I know is that today was my last day of summer grad school and it feels GLORIOUS! I am have never been so excited to be done. I have one last paper to write and then Monday I get to meet my mentor teacher. I can't wait to see where this adventure takes me! However y'all don't come to this blog to listen to me blather about grad school. I do have quite a funny (iny opinion) story. So I have been working out and it is safe to say I love it. It feels absolutely amazing to be active and I feel great! Now you maybe asking yourself " alright fat Barbie when does the funny come into play? You're sounding super self righteous right meow." Hence this is the funny part. So SkinnhyBitch has long since been doing these excersises but I recently started ( she probably does it better but hey I am willing to take second place in this) My trainer made me do these things called box jumps. It is exactly what it sounds like. There's a box that is a certain height ( I think mine was 2-3 feet) and the person doing box jumps has to jump on top of the box. Simple right.? WRONG...physically it is sooooo simple but mentally it takes a lot of something. It is all about believing that you tank you can jump on top of this freaking box. So I have to do 10 of these jumps and I get to jump 6 and then I have a complete mental flip. I catch my leg on the box and all I can think is I am about to smash my face against this freaking box and that's going to hurt so badly. But out of nowhere I develop these Catwoman like skills and I catch myself before I can fall and bust my face!!!! Score 1 for Fat Barbie!! My trainer was super impressed. She couldn't believe how gracefully I caught myself. Needless to say I was as proud as a peacock! Then the trainer decides I needed to do more work. So she has me doing burpees. Burpees are the tool of the devil much like pencils. To do burpees you have to drop down into a push up and then jump up. Then you repeat doesn't sound hard does it? Lies it was awful but as I finished doing burpees I felt so good! It was amazing... Being so excited I texted SkinnyBitch and told her all about my new found Catwoman abilities. SkinnyBitch gave the appropriate responses and helped build my Fat Barbie Catwoman ego. That amazing feeling definitely carried over into the week! I will hopefully have another funny story after my workout today! I will keep all y'all posted! 

Fat Barbie is MIA

I am so sorry that I haven't written in a while ( although some of you maybe glad about that fact) but I am currently just all over the place because of grad school. I won't go into too much detail because I am still currently under stress to complete this course but once I am done I promise I will be back in action! 

Cheers to the Weekend

So at College Town USA, there is this new bar that has life size Jenga. It was amazing! However I will get to that part a little bit later. So two of my favorite people came into town this weekend and my friends and I all decided to go out on the town. Being girls we all got ready together and spied on my one friend's hot neighbors ( granted these boys are 18 and 19 and Fat Barbie doesn't play well with younger boys) We finish getting ready and we head out to dinner and the bars. After learning what a ride or die chick is and many other fun tidbits,we all started to lag at around 12:30am when one of my friends suggested we go to the new bar that had a bunch of arcade games and board games. We get there and in the corner there is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen LIFE SIZE JENGA!!!!!! What could be better than life size Jenga? If you said absolutely nothing( or Alex Pettyfer wearing nothing but a bow) you would be correct! Unfortunately for me tacky people were hogging the Jenga table. But really why would someone keep me from my beloved life size Jenga. Seeing my distress my friends bring me to the bar part. While getting my beverage the song bittersweet symphony come on. The bar tender made a funny comment about this song which I of of course added my own two cents too. Another bar patron chimes in with his opinion. So this segways into flirting ( I mean we are at a bar and life size Jenga is in use what else am I suppose to o) now I always flirt it is just what happens you can ask my sister I am just a flirt. So between talking to my friends and flirting with Bar Patron I begin to have a great time. Unfortunately the lights turn on and last call is called. My friends and I regroup to decide how to proceed for the rest of the night. Then Bar Patron walks up to me and runs my back. Umm excuse me?!?! I hate hate HATE being touched. I hate it. Even when it is a friend if I am not prepared for the touch I will FREAK out! So I flipped out naturally and he has the audacity to say "As a massage therapist, I am offended" excuse me?! Do you even know my name? I couldn't believe my ears so as politely as I could reject him I said "1. You don't even know my name 2. If that's your best pick up line it needs some serious work" so as I leave I thought to myself I may be desperate but I will never be that desperate. That is the recap of Fat Barbie's weekend! Have a great day y'all!

The Misadventures of Fat Barbie

So as you know I have been going to work with Personal Trainer. From my last post y'all know that the workout kicked my butt. I am glad to say that I am not on death's door anymore. I am not saying that the workouts have gotten easier. They haven't I am just adjusting better to the workouts. After working out upper body and lower body the past two times today Personal Trainer decided to put me through a full body work out. And for the most part it was wonderful! It feels great to work muscles that haven't been worked on in years. However as you can see from the title there was definitely a mishap or two(let’s be real my entire life is a mishap mostly for the good) Personal Trainer has already run me through the ringer. It was almost time for Fat Barbie to be back in my little cottage with the air conditioning turned on full blast. I swear I have never sweated so much as I have during these workouts. I can literally taste sweet freedom. When Personal Trainer says "Hold on Fat Barbie you've got one more thing to do" And can I say that with that my heart fell just a little bit. However I am doing this to better myself and I knew that I could do it. If I climbed the steps of the Duomo and didn't die (once again thanks for that SkinnyBitch, I think i just regained my breath) So I am wondering what little work out trick PT has drummed up for me. So with visions of kettle bells, rowing machines and bench presses floating though my brain I get ready for what I think is going to be so hard. Well imagine my surprise when PT brings me to a bench and says all I will be doing is a basic crunch extension on the bench. I couldn't help but be excited because these are so easy. So I have to do three sets of fifteen, which doesn't seem like a big deal. As I am getting through the first set I feel a little wobbly. No worries though Fat Barbie pushed through. So I moved to the second set this is where things get a little hairy. I am getting that wobbly feeling again. I should have known something was up because before I could even stop myself I fall tushy overhead right off that workout bench. Mortified doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.  I wouldn't have felt so bad if I hadn't known someone at the gym. But I girl I had some classes with had just signed into the gym and had seen Fat Barbie's ass in all its glory straight up in the air. I have no idea how I managed that feat of sheer awesome but somehow it happened. Now I want all of you readers out there to get a good laugh out of my pain. Just imagine Fat Barbie flipping right over off a workout bench. It is pretty funny looking back on it but my pride is still a little wounded especially because before I flipped over the bench I had been working on a machine that does squats and as I am squatting this weight my right knee gives out and over I go. I fell TWICE in one workout. That's when I knew the gods were against me and that I should basically give up. But never fear if I gave up on things that embarrassed me I probably wouldn't have survived college because man did I do some pretty embarrassing things. But those are stories for another day. Well I hope I made your day and if you need a laugh just imagine me falling right off a workout bench in front of God and everyone. 

Dying Fat Barbie is Literally Dying

So I began my training with the Personal Trainer on Thursday. And let me tell you it was surprisingly a lot of fun! Who would have thought Fat Barbie would associate anything with working out fun. So it began with some simple weightlifting and I so confidently thought " Oh this is going to be a piece of cake! I am going to kick this workout's butt." Wellmi thought I had. I wasn't too tired after the work out and felt like a champ when I was driving back to my house. Then I woke up yesterday and barely felt any soreness in my arms so I returned to the gym for some cardio fun! The place I work out at is so cool. They have cable tv in each cardio machine (now I can watch what I want on tv while working out...it is wonderful) I mean I got to finish VH1's 40 Greatest R&B Songs from the 90's ( everyone should watch it... I predict it will win an Emmy) So I am feeling so cocky about how I feels . After all it doesn't even feel like I worked out too hard with my trainer. So I finish at the gym and head home where a friend asked if I would see Magic Mike with her( umm duh Magic Mike should get an Oscar based on casting alone...) let's just say Alex Pettyfer may not be able to dance but oh my lanta is he something to look at...( I actually squealed like a little girl when he first took his shirt off all I can say is YUM!) So towards the end of the movie I began to feel some muscle stiffness and I was like oh it's still not bad. But as the night progresses I realized my body was literally kicking my butt for being so cocky earlier. So I went to sleep hoping that would calm the muscles. Well, like with many things, I was horribly wrong. I kept waking up last night to move because the muscles would be so sore they would wake me up. I feel like I have been stuck in a taffy pull. It is awful but it is a good awful because it means I actually did work. But goodness to I wish I wasn't so stiff and sore. Heading into the gym today may just kill me. But as they say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger...what a load of bull though because I can't get my arms above my shoulders. I really think I. Am. Dying so if you personally low Fat Barbie and you haven't heard from me in a few days you can be assured the gym has killed me... Anyway I will let you kittens go finish the rest of your wonderful Saturday!

Inspire

It doesn't take a whole lot to make Fat Barbie cry. ( just asks SkinnyBitch) but I saw something today that really made me think about things ( and yes it made me cry). I saw this picture and it almost made me cry. To be as confident as this girl is something I strive to attain. She makes such a bold statement that really turns the entire "thin is pretty thing" right on its ear. Now I want everyone to know that I believe everyone is beautiful. Tall, thin, short, fat, medium everyone has the one thing that makes them simply stunning.This girl has got it going on. She has got such a pretty face and such a confident air and that is something that is amazing. The road to becoming Fat . Barbie was not easy, from my freshman year of high school up to the middle of my junior year of college I hated looking in the mirror. I saw someone who was nothing more than a hideous beast. Of course most people didn't know I thought that because in my world you can't let people know you think you're ugly. It shows weakness and that is what people prey on. So I held this notion of being a beast and it began to really began to seep into my outside life. But something eventually "clicked" and I realized that I was just as pretty as others and I didn't need to loathe myself. And that is when I stopped pitying myself and moved on. I gained the confidence and the ability to see past all of the negativity I had piled on myself. If I had seen this photo earlier I would have had my turning point much earlier then when I did. This young woman shows such wonderful spark and in that moment you know that she has changed at least one person with her message. More people (myself included) need to think like this girl. Whatever a person size is they deserve to feel beautiful or as this inspiring girl calls herself "glorious" . There will always be times when I feel down about myself but in those times I will recall this picture and this girl's strength and that will get me through. It may not be much but everyone needs a confidence role model and I am selecting this girl. Kudos to whoever she is because she has made me a more confident Fat Barbie.

Fat Barbie is a Delicate Flower

So it has been in the 100's since I've gotten back and all I can say is Fat Barbie HATES really hot weather. When people said they were sweating so much they would turn into a puddle I laughed. Now I completely understand where they are coming from. If I don't stop sweating I will legit die from dehydration. Kittens I know that y'all are thinking you can die from sweating. Well Fat Barbie will be the first person to do so and it will be a sad day. I am so hot I am stripped down to spanky shorts and a flowy tank top ( I promise I haven't been outside in this outfit). I am a delicate flower and this heat is not conducive to me being a happy Fat Barbie. It is awful. I went outside and cracked and egg on the sidewalk and it FRIED. Clearly that means it is to dang hot. Well kittens I am going to go dunk ice on myself but I hope y'all are having a better day!